papa is back on track

papa is back! =)

and after 5mos, i got a big big tight hug from someone! then i remembered what bro.bo said before, that we all need a hug a day! and i think i was longing for that kind of hug for months! haha

and yesss sounds like a papa's girl blogging! haha i admit and always be! =)

i missed him!
and next to his physical presence is my "bilin!" haha
and yes, he got it all! (parang SM lang! haha we got it all for you!haha) from my techie-bilin to my food-bilin, every specific food i wrote was there right infront of me! haha i'll start munching them tomorrow! hehe

random thought - "one is the loneliest number, one.." --> double meaning! hahahahhahaha

invisible war

make peace, not war.

i finally firgured out, the only way to get through this.. is to fully and trully accept things that i cannot change and expect to get things better in my life and someone else's too.

i have to rise above this or i had already. but i guess i just can't pretend to live and treat someone like a stranger so, have to make amends. And live knowing i tried to make no "enemies" (if possible) during my lifetime.

"Invisible war, seems we're fighting an invisible war

Strained manoeuvres, keeping silent score

In this invisible war....

Talk about a fine line between love and hate

We've lost more than our direction of late

Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends

We've never been lovers and now we're not even friends...

Got to be away

Time heals all wounds..."

- invisible war, julia fordham

test em away

Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLD)

Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.

Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal

honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.

These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.

You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.

Your exact female opposite:

The Playstation

living with my mama

living with your mom is like living with a girl-friend! haha

i know we've been living together since birth..haha but this time it's different, just me and her. ALL THE TIME!

lots of complains, yes! i nag her all the time..haha sometimes i act like "i'm the mom" when we're out, even when we're here at home..haha

i've always been close to her eversince, for obvious reasons - i'm the only girl she has! haha but the bond grew stronger now..whether we go stroll in the mall, eat out, shop, clean, cook, work..everything! =) and when we need to rush in the morning because we're both late, we share the bathroom, one in the shower and the other one "depositing"..haha as always she has crazy moments, more than i do! and she's more impulsive than i am! haha and everytime i would buy something supposedly for myself only, i would have to buy another kind but with different color for her..anything i buy i need to consider her or else she'd say "bakit ikaw lang, di mo ako binilan!?" (with matching tampo face..haha) so for this month i bought a winnie the pooh shirt, they only have one color so no choice, just different size..then i bought a visor - mine was white and her's was red. haha and everytime i give it to her i tell her loud and clear - "huwag mo susuotin yan kapag suot ko ung akin!!" haha because sometimes even though she saw me wore it first she'd still get her pair and wear it! haha (kulang nalang sumayaw na kami!! haha)

i decided since May last year, i wouldn't lie anymore to my parents, start a new..so i tell her everything that's been happening in my life here and some of my past, but some things are and should be better left unsaid. now telling her about who's, where, when, how's, and why's about my life now, makes it easier for me to decide and to see things clearly. i never believed that our parents know what is best for us - still, my side isn't changing, but what i do know is, that they know more things than us, that they've been there before - somehow. whether it be their own experience or a friend of friend's experience, they know - been there, done that. and i'm happy i am more open to everything, well almost! hehe even to papa, which i realized and no denying - i am my father's daughter. carbon copy - slight revisions..haha

THE BUZZ

wala kaming magawa ni mama last sunday, so nagpunta kami kay tita vic para manood ng tsismis..well actually ako lang may gusto pero kse naman, that was my sunday life nuon..haha kahit lasing na laseng na ako sa antok sa hapon, manunuod at magiintay pa rin ako ng THE BUZZ! hahaha

anyway anyway, main idea here is..about Gabby Concepcion's interview..haha oh before anything else, ang gwapo pa rin niya solid! haha pero para ka ring tumitingin kay KC at the same time so parang di mo alam kung maggwapuhan ka ba or magagandahan..hahaha

ok back to my main idea..haha he mentioned something about US, the life, trials, and so on..tapos there was this line actually 2 lines he mentioned sa interview niya with Boy,
"US is a humbling place...."
and
"kay tagal mo nang nawala, babalik ka rin.."

literally, a tear dropped - both eyes..i know i'm-the-ever-dramatic-person-created..haha so parang ung tear na un satisfies ung feeling na un all in all..hirap explain e pero parang for me, it says more of how i feel rather than ung iyak na hagulgul or continuous sob..

he mentioned "humbling place" - i think or country..anyway..kse true..this is really a humbling place, out of your comfort zone..na parang you were once on the top, now the wheels have turned..not in a negative way, pero na you really start from scratch, i mean we did, i did and still..i've learned a lot from this and not so much pride on the line, especially when it comes to my family..parang i have to do what i have to do..sacrifices not for me but never been more willing to do it for us - them..

and the famous line from Gary V.'s song, "kay tagal mo nang nawala, babalik ka rin" di pa naman ganon ako katagal nawala, pero one day i know babalik rin ako..for sure not back for good, pero at least back to where my heart is..haha drama! at kahit sinong makausap mo dito, well most if not all, na kahit na pay here is good and all that crap - when they retire, sa Pilipinas pa rin sila magssettle and splurge their green money dun nang maramdaman nila ung fruits ng hirap na ginawa nila dito..which is my plan from the very start, if God willing, i would like to retire early around mid 40's (kung sobrang may pera na tlga ako and all that) tapos invest my money on something or somwhere sa Pilipinas para my money would still be rolling and old age comes - i'm still safe and alive...haha

almost all the stuffs Gabby Concepcion mentioned, of course except ung mga controversies niya about Sharon and all the showbiz eklat..haha pero about US and what he learned after staying here for 13 years, i can relate to it and getting more..