friends

i've talked to two of my friends and from them i realized and saw myself..how i act now and how i feel now (romantically speaking)..

from friend no.1, she mentioned the phrase "i've never felt this way before"..cliche as it may sound, but its true..i guess we'll always have this one feeling from this one specific event or specific person that no matter it maybe in the past or present, you'll just smile and say, "i've never felt this way before"..actually for her, her love life is too complicated for an average 21-22year old life..but the thing that struck me most is that, she still loves the person for who he is, with baggage or none..everything is complicated enough that a usual big issue (well for me it would be a big issue) is just a tiny spot of dirt on her white uniform..haha its a bit weird for me, for someone to be that open enough to accept ALL of him..but i guess that's when you love, and i think now i know it..


okay.. from friend no.2, she is a nerve wracking - big headache friend..haha everyone would agree..anyway, with her she's a living martyr but when i had a short talk with her, instead of me telling this and that to her..basically opposing everything she says..instead, i was telling her that it's okay for her to feel something even though there's another thing..(can't lay it all out! hahaa) because the truth is, i felt what she's feeling right now..exactly 4days, she said..haha but i was the opposite of her, i knew that time would come and instead of overcoming it, i gave in because i knew that's what i wanted, that's what i was looking for..but for her she's still confused because like what she said, she had always wanted and loved the current, true and pure..anyway, now that i'm here at this state (make that a colorful state) i now understand her when it comes to her reactions and dealings with her guy..to be so in love and would do anything just to make it work, would give up everything, and would really work it out 'til she breaks out..haha

i guess i would always have this armour on me since the first time i got hurt..haha i never removed it or let down my guard..but i'm afraid that one day i will..one day i would be so vulnerable and get really attached..and i hate it when that day would come! haha i know it would be a wonderful feeling because i know i have my safety net with me but still, ms.pride for you please! haha

"pride ain't nothing when it comes to matters of the heart" - Guess Who?