new year '09

another year has passed, a year of changes..a lot!

i was open to be open, i know my emotions got all caught up and all my views regarding my migration is negative and overrated but i know i'll never be able to move on and be better if i have all in this in my mind..so, i had to be open and see the bigger picture of things..and i'm glad i did..

i was open for changes and acceptance for the past year, a year of adjustment for me, still, regarding my US issue..instead of constant ranting and making my life miserable, i just look at the brighter side and have a goal, purpose for me to continue..

i became more spiritual, it's not about hearing mass every sunday or everyday, but when i'm there for whatever occassion and when i just feel down, i go to our Church (around 8 houses away from our apt.) and pray and talk to Him..whatever issue that's been troubling me, i don't plan on being dramatic..haha but i guess He's the first person whom i could go to and say my deepest feelings..and right after i go out of that Church, i just can't explain how light i feel and like refreshed to start again..

i've taken steps in making my life more fruitful..i've been going to school and few more months and i'd be graduating..like what i've said, instead of ranting, i made little steps to make me successful and achiever..mornings i go to work 7am - 3pm then get home around 4pm, have an hour sleep, then 530pm off again to school..6-10pm..go home and 4-5hour sleep then routine goes on and on and on..i never complain though, because i know at the end of all this, something good is there waiting for me and for my family..=) and i guess its paying off to be a pinoy, that for sure! hehe and my 3 years of chemistry is an edge..=) interneship, here i come! welcome jobs, welcome! hahaha

i learned to let go, again and again..without bitterness, sourgraping, sacrasm..yes, i did it! i guess my therapy worked, the more i get to know the details, the pictures, the story, the more i see it, realize things, and just be happy for others..i tell, to say that you're happy for someone else - is really hard! haha especially when you're not - at first..but when you're just powerless and awake from what reasons you've made, saying it maybe for the 3rd or 5th time, then the words has its meaning, in truest form.. =)

i gained, yes i gained weight that for surE! haha and i gained a friend, love, enemy, partner, my opposite - who puts me into equilibrium of things..when time came that i became sure of myself, then he came..he was there ever since, but i guess i just let him in this time..and i'm happy, never been happy..believe it or not, i've changed! i swear, Golda knows that it's not me, not the Eunice she used to listen to..i'm one of them, i'm one of those girls (not every aspect with THOSE kind of girls..haha) i hate it that i'm like this, but at the same time, this is the feeling who makes me, me..the girl who likes hearts (haha), who appreciates any form of love, who gives importance to small details about life, who cries not only with hurt but who cries because of joy..and lastly, a girl who is willing to take risk, be patient, and endure whatever it take even if distance is the only factor that keeps us apart..

and now i'm starting again, keeping all the good memories and people with me..leaving all the bad, anger, hatred in the past year - using them as lessons or "reviewers" in my life..

actually we don't have to wait for a year to change, i've learned that, everyday is an opportunity for us to start a new, it never stops..it's up to us to make it or fake it..=)

happy new year everyone! =)