the journey's just beginning

this was harder than i imagined. got chills down my spine, literally - until now while i'm writing.

i've exposed myself to a lot emotions since day 1, some of it i don't know ever existed, a lot of analyzing on who, how, what, when, and why. i knew, still know and believe in whatever i did. but why does it go back to me this way? if being straight and knowing what's best for me is a crime, then i'm guilty. but do i have to undergo all this drama all over again? i thought i was through. done. over it.

i want to cry, but i can't. no tears to shed. why? i don't know.

now i know i'm like a kid - in one specific aspect. i do hold on to things and promises. and once broken, i get disappointed and frustrated. no words could explain this.

as i write this a lot of hope and wish well.

knowing this, is just half of the whole story - journey i have to take. when will it end, i pray i have the answers.