someone told me that one of the characters that she sees in me is that, i know what i want. good trait - i guess. but the thing is, i think it's a gift and a curse -- sort of, at the same time.
gift -plain and simple, i know what i want, feel, made, did, got into, missed. i know what would make me steady - but not certain if it would really make me happy/satisfied.
curse - i have expectations, a lot. and i get frustrated easily when they don't reach what i expected them to be or what i hope they should be. wrong, very wrong. i try not to, but i just can't help it, especially when they're the one who started "that image" they're portraying from the start. and it's hard because though i just want to give up, i can't because i want it - supposedly.
so sometimes not knowing what you really want can be a good thing. clueless about who, where, when, and why, would be better.
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